CLOTHES THAT FIT ARE THE SHIT: A REVIEW OF THE UNIVERSAL STANDARD MYSTERY BOX

The word plus-size comes off like a swear word to me. It is obviously not offensive in the slightest (plus, I fucking love to swear) but for me, it elicits the same winced reaction that most have toward the word "moist.”

There is something cringey, shrill, and generally othering about the combo of two words by a hyphen that manages to define nearly 70% of U.S. women. Maybe it is because for the longest time plus-size meant unkempt racks of frumpy, tent-like clothing shoved in a corner, tearing-up in changing rooms, and a general feeling of defeat.

Time and time again brands have attempted to restyle the phrase with terms like, "Curve," "Extended," or even the minimalist approach with just a "+" symbol. Albeit, these make my skin crawl far less, in my dreamiest of worlds all clothes would be offered to all bodies; plus, petite, extra tall, extra small, and everything in-between.

It is a tall order to ask for, but one brand has proven this not to be impossible (imagine that, @ pretty much every retailer ever). Universal Standard, which offers "elevated essentials" in size 00-40, has managed to break the sample-sized mold most retailers abide. On top of their revolutionary approach to sizing, they are putting a lot of good into the world, which has increasingly come to the forefront of my conscious as a consumer.

Ways in which Universal Standard is a renaissance retailer:

• They are truly a size and body inclusive retailer. Models of all races, ages, sizes, and abilities are shown in their brand imagery and ad campaigns.

• If your size changes within a year's time of your purchase, they will replace the item(s) FOR FREE through their Fit Liberty program. Plus, your old piece is donated to First Steps and Dress for Success, giving the garment a second life and a chance to be enjoyed by someone who needs it.

• They have offered to style and loan clothing to women and non-binary people running for office at no charge.

• Universal Standard offered a free piece of clothing from their Foundation collection ($500,000 worth) to all medical workers who wanted one, as a token of appreciation for their work during the COVID-19 pandemic.

• Universal Standard actually gives a damn about their workers. Their founders, Alex Waldman and Polina Veksler, visit every factory they work with, ensuring ethical practices and quality are upheld.

• They recently came out with a children’s book titled What Would Fashion Look Like If It Included All Of US? 100% of the book's purchase price is donated to #SAVEWITHSTORIES, in partnership with Save the Children and No Kid Hungry.

Up until recent, I had been admiring Universal Standard’s clothing and unparalleled approach to business from afar. Their pieces are in the I-am-an-adult-and-have-my-life-together price range and truth be told, I’m not quite there yet. HOWEVER, they released their second annual Mystery Box promotion earlier this year and I figured this was an ideal opportunity for me to try out the brand.

I essentially paid $85.50 for over $500 worth of clothes (YEAH BOI). Here is how it went.

STEP 1: SELECT THE MYSTERY BOX

There were several categories to choose from ranging from $50-$175 per box (Athleisure, Dresses, Bottoms, Luxe, etc.). After some serious consideration and a few email alerts reminding me that boxes were LIMITED (cue “Under Pressure” by Queen and David Bowie), I settled on the Classic Style Outfitting Mystery Box; a top, a bottom, and a "classic styling piece" all hand-picked by a member of the US team.

STEP 2: QUESTIONNAIRE

Moments after submitting my payment info (I'm a money-conscious bitch so I found a 10% off discount code), a questionnaire was sent to my inbox. I had zero idea what to expect with this questionnaire, but as a former Quizilla-child-turned-Buzzfeed-adult quiz taker, this was an exciting component to the Mystery Box. Plus, it gave the skeptic inside of me a safety net to justify spending $85.50 on a box of clothing that I did not know the contents.

Would I be asked about my zodiac sign? Taurus... I don’t think we are well received in the astrological community. My favorite chain restaurant? Olive Garden; I know I’m trash and it’s not “real Italian.” What Power Puff Girl I relate to most? Bubbles for life.

Surprisingly, none of the questions were about my zodiac sign. But even more surprising to me was that the questionnaire only consisted of 4 questions, two of which were about color preference and the other two about size.

It didn't seem like much information for the US team to work with, making my skepticism grow.

Question 1

Question 2

Question 3

Question 4

A few days later, I got another email from Universal Standard prompting me to log on and favorite items - giving the team a bit more insight into my style and preference. Rest assured, my faith was restored.

STEP 3: WAIT

From the time of placing my order to the package arriving was just over 3 weeks. I didn’t find this unreasonable, considering the box was curated to my likes, they exceeded their anticipated number of orders, and coronavirus had started to cause delays in most facets of life.

Even though I paid for the box, since I didn’t technically know what to expect, I felt like a little kid waiting for Santa Claus, except I was a grown-ish woman who repeatedly checked her front porch. It's fine.

STEP 4: UNBOXING

I am a sucker for good packaging. Nice tissue paper and a note go a long way with me; this had both.

STEP 5: TRY ON

The moment of truth. Did I spend over $80 on a box of clothes, which was final sale, that I either won't like or won't fit? Or did I hit a fashion gold mine?

(If this was a TV show, there would be a commercial break which becomes inexplicably louder than the program you were watching.)

Much to the amazement of the picky skeptic who unfortunately has made a comfortable nest inside of me, I was more than delighted while pulling each garment out of the box. And because the order took longer than they anticipated, I was sent an extra item of clothing.

And even more amazing, everything FIT. Like, actually fit.

WHAT I RECEIVED

Sophia Puffer Bomber (208.00) - I had been eyeing up this jacket for a while. It fits like a glove and the pockets are lined with fleece, so it’s basically the nicest thing I own.

Foundation Short Sleeve Crew Neck Tee (45.00) - I much prefer gray over white when it comes to t-shirts. Probably the softest tee ever. Has a nice fit that isn’t too casual.

Seine High Rise Skinny Jeans (90.00) - Universal Standard prides themselves on their denim so when I opened my Mystery Box and saw a pair I was floored. Because of my proportions (aka I have no ass) jeans are always tricky for me. I was nervous these were going to fit me weird because of so. However, I was pleasantly surprised. They are a great length, wash, and rise. A little loose on me because of the no ass thing, but still very much wearable.

(yes, that is a Doodle at my feet.)

Rivers Wrap Dress (170.00) - My additional item was a lightweight black wrap dress. It’s like they crawled into my closet and knew what had been missing. This dress makes me feel fan-fucking-tastic. It fits perfectly and I look forward to wearing it once quarantine is over (I don't really know where to but until then, I guess I’ll wear it to my living room for the sole purpose of taking a picture.)

Total = $513, or approximately $21.38 a piece

Overall, I am thrilled with my Mystery Box. Fit, quality, selection, and value exceeded all expectations and squashed all doubts. Plus, they went the extra mile by sending an additional item, which speaks volumes toward how they value their customer.

Beyond the box, Universal Standard is continuously challenging long upheld standards in fashion, and because of so I have already made another purchase from them since buying my Mystery Box. Hopefully other brands start to take note.

#fashion